Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Biggest badass from each NFL team: Colts

I am a big fan of the NFL. Some people are more into the college game, but I grew up following the pros and that is where my heart still resides.

I can recall when getting a team jersey was an expensive and glamorous purchase. (We're talking a couple hundred bucks, easy.) Now, you can get replicas for fairly cheap (less than $100) and can get knockoffs for even less money (you can probably find jerseys for $30 on the Internet).

As a former defensive lineman in high school and offensive lineman with the local semi-pro team (I am now the offensive and defensive line coach for the local high school freshman team) I can't wear just anyone's name and number. You will not see me sporting a DeSean Jackson or Chris Johnson or Tom Brady jersey. It has nothing to do with my opinion of how they play. In fact, I think those three players are excellent. I just can't wear a flashy player.

I need a badass player.

I could sit and preach about the most badass players from my favorite team, but that is a very restricted net indeed. I could also attempt to list the most badass players currently in the NFL. The net gets a little wider, but still not the scope I'm looking for. How about the most badass players in the history of the league? Almost there, but still not what I'm aiming for. The most badass players from each team, current and historical. Ding ding ding! We have a winner.

I will attempt to go through every team in the National Football League and name the most badass player currently on the roster (as of the end of the 2011 season) and the most badass player in franchise history. You can expect to see a lot of linemen in the upcoming posts, but there will be some linebackers, running backs and, yes, even some quarterbacks who were badass.

The definition of a badass player is not set in stone. Some are badass because of how long they played. Some are badass because of how they played. Some are badass because, well, just because. Kind of like Potter Stewart, I know a badass player when I see one. But one critical component to being a badass player is my dad NOT making fun of me if I wear that player's jersey.

So first up is Indianapolis Colts.


If you look up in the stands at Lucas Oil Stadium, you would think the team is called the 18s considering the abundance of Peyton Manning jerseys. Colt fans have every right to put 18 on his or her back. Manning turned that franchise around.

Whenever you have a pass-happy offense, critics derail the play and players as "soft." There are plenty of players who I would not describe as soft: safety Antoine Bethea is pretty hard, and tight end Dallas Clark is in discussion as the best in the business. But if I was throwing down money on a current Colt jersey, I'm going with one their three top linemen.

Center Jeff Saturday (#63) was undrafted out of North Carolina, but is easily one of the top snappers in the NFL. Defensive ends Dwight Freeney (#93) and Robert Mathis (#98) make up one of the best bookend rushing tandems ever. The two have a combined 106 sacks (Freeney has 102.5; Mathis has 82.5).

Historically, there are really only two badasses I would consider supporting. The first is widely regarded as the best all-around tight end to ever play the game, John Mackey (#88). But if I was going to buy one and only one Colt jersey I would go with Gino Marchetti (#89). Marchetti's parents did not want him to play football because they were afraid he would get hurt. Instead of absorbing punishment, the 6-foot-4 defensive end decided to doll it out. He played in the 1950s, so a lot of current fans may not know him, but Hall of Famers consider him the best all-around defensive linemen to ever lace 'em up; stout against the run and terrifying when rushing the quarterback.

Next: St. Louis Rams

Friday, December 14, 2012

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Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Badass Redskins

The Washington Redskins have played more than 1,000 games in franchise history, and plenty of badasses have donned the uniform during the team's 80 years of existence.

The 2012 roster has outside linebacker (and insurance salesman) Brian Orakpo (#98). Orakpo, a first-round draft pick in 2009 out of the University of Texas, has averaged 9.5 sacks per season in his three years in the NFL. Another (often overlooked) badass in London Fletcher. At 5-foot-10, Fletcher (#59) is small for an NFL linebacker. His size may have been why he was not drafted out of college. Or it could be because he played for tiny Division III school John Carroll University. But Fletcher was one of two undrafted free agents to make the St. Louis Rams 1998 roster. In his 14 years in the NFL, Fletcher has never missed a game. From undrafted free agent to 14 straight years in the NFL is pretty badass!

In the 80 years of the Washington Redskins, there have been plenty of badass players, but a couple of jersey numbers are truly special: 74 (George Starke), 68 (Russ Grimm), 53 (Jeff Bostic), 73 (Mark May), 68 (Joe Jacoby). Those are the original Hogs, the offensive linemen for the 1982 Redskin team.

Those offensive linemen were badass, but it would be a travesty to talk about Washington Redskin badasses and not mention perhaps the most badass player in league history. "Slingin' Sammy Baugh earned his nickname not as the quarterback with Washington or during his football playing days at Texas Christian University. A sportswriter gave him the moniker when Baugh was the third baseman for TCU.

As a member of the Redskins, Baugh (#33) was one of the first quarterbacks to make the forward pass a fixture for offenses. Being a great quarterback is all well-and-good, but what made Baugh a badass of the highest caliber is during his time Baugh was also the best punter and defensive back. Baugh could be considered a badass for his 1943 season alone. That was the year he led the NFL in passing, punting and interceptions. He was Tom Brady, Shane Lechler and Ed Reed rolled into one.


Next up: Jacksonville Jaguars

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Badass Buccaneers

Tampa Bay had an incredible 2010, surprising most analysts by racking up 10 wins despite having a young squad. The 2011 Buccaneers surprised analysts again, but because they took a giant step backwards and finished 4-12.

It takes effort finding a player currently on the roster who I would consider a badass (a player I could proudly buy his heresy and not have my dad roll his eyes at me.) Gone are all of the premier players on defense from the Super Bowl winning 2000 team. The only player worthy of being considered a badass would be running back LeGarrette Blount (#27). Blount is a power back who would rather over and through a defender then run around a defender, which earns points for badassness. But, truth be told, the defensive linemen are young (except Albert Haynesworth, who more a jackass instead of a badass) and the offensive line is OK but not spectacular (center Jeff Faine, tackle Donald Penn). Blount kind of wins this by default.

Historically, the Bucs do have some pretty badass players, even if the franchise had a horrible reputation for about 30 years. You could go down the entire defensive roster of the Super Bowl winning year (#99 Warren Sapp, #55 Derek Brooks, #47 John Lynch), and even some of the offensive guys too (#40 Mike Alstott). But the original Tampa Bay badass is Lee Roy Selmon (#63.) The defensive end from the University of Oklahoma was the 1979 Defensive Player of the Year, a six-time Pro Bowl selection and named to the 1980s All-Decade Team. Selmon is almost solely responsible for breaking up the Buccaneer's losing ways, a pretty badass achievement for a defensive lineman.


Next up: Washington Redskins

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Badass Browns

Who is the best left tackle in football? If Cleveland's Joe Thomas isn't the best, he isn't far behind. Other Browns players have admitted the only reason why quarterback Derek Anderson was selected to the Pro Bowl in 2008 was because Thomas was an absolute wall on the left side. Thomas has been selected to the Pro Bowl all five years he has been in the NFL. It's pretty easy to say #73 is a badass.

Who else currently on the Browns could be called a badass? Running back Peyton Hillis was in 2010, but his refusal to play with minor injuries erased any possibility of inclusion in this discussion. Center Alex Mack (#55) has started all 48 games in his three year career, which is badass. Linebacker D'Qwell Jackson (#52) is overlooked by the other fantastic defenders in the AFC North, but he had 116 solo tackles last year, all with a pectoral problem that sidelined him the past two years. Badass, indeed.

The Browns franchise is littered with tons of badass players, and I could delve into the worthiness of RB Marion Motley (#76/#36), TE Ozzie Newsome (#82), and even QB Otto Graham (#60/#14), but the only *real* badass in Brown history is probably one of the biggest badasses in all of American sports history, not just NFL history. Jim Brown (#32) averaged 5.2 yards per carry, a feat that totally boggles comprehension considering opposing defenses knew he was going to get the ball. And he was also widely considered the best lacrosse player of all time. Brown belongs on the Mount Rushmore of Badass.

Next up: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Badass Vikings

The Vikings weren't supposed to be great in 2011, but not many expected Minnesota would finish with the third-worst record in the NFL at 3-13.

The lack of wins could be a reflection in the lack of badasses. Defensive end Jared Allen (#69) was a badass when he was with the Kansas City Chiefs and has continued his mullet-fueled mayhem while donning Viking purple. Allen's 22 sacks was a Favre-like fall down from breaking Michael Strahan's 22.5 in 2001.

Guard Steve Hutchinson was a badass when he came over from Seattle in 2006, but a broken thumb two years ago and a concussion last year means big #76 has not played a full season since 2009 and may not be back in 2012.

Adrian Peterson (#28) is a linebacker playing running, which is pretty badass, but an ugly knee injury forced the former Oklahoma Sooner to miss the final four games of 2011. Plus, you may want to hold off buying a #28 jersey just yet as Peterson announced on Twitter he is thinking about changing his number.

As for historically badass Vikings, the first players that jump to mind are the Purple People Eaters of the 1960s and '70s. Alan Page (#88) and Carl Eller (#81) are in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, and Jim Marshall (#70) is often discussed as one of the best players NOT in Canton, but The Norse Nightmare, Gary Larsen (#77) was pretty badass.

Guard Randall McDaniel (#64) started 12 straight Pro Bowls from 1989 to 2000, which is amazingly badass. Chris Doleman (#56) is fourth in NFL history with 150.5 sacks. One of my favorite all-time players was #93, John Randle, and his recent induction into Canton was well-deserved.

But if you want to really impress people with your knowledge of badass Vikings, sport either a #53 or 73 jersey. Mick Tingelhoff (#53) never missed a start at center in his 17 years with Minnesota. Ron Yary (#73) was the first offensive lineman to ever be selected with the first overall pick in the draft and only missed two games in his 15 seasons due to a broken ankle.

Next up Cleveland Browns.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Badass Rams

The Rams have quite a history. The present, however, is historically disappointing. The 2011 version of the Rams finished with just two wins. It was a fairly forgettable group, and not many are worthy of me spending money on a jersey.

A few exemptions do stand out, though, and both have famous fathers. Defensive end Chris Long (#91) racked up 13 sacks in 2011 and continues to draw comparisons to his dad, eight-time Pro Bowl selection Howie Long. Linebacker James Laurinatis (#55) had the eighth-most total tackles in the NFL last year (142) and the third-most solo tackles (105), which I find more badass than anything his dad did as The Animal in professional wrestling.

But the current crop pales in comparison to the greats that have represented the Rams organization. Tom Mack (#65) had a Hall of Fame career at left guard, Jackie Slater (#78) should be mentioned when discussing best left tackles of all-time, and while some might want to include Orlando Pace (#76) in that argument as well, I would leave him out. Marshall Faulk (#28) may be a running back, but my criteria for badass-ness is "What jersey would my dad be OK wearing?" Since Faulk went to San Diego State, and my dad is a former Aztec, Faulk be more than acceptable.

If you want to talk about badass Rams, you really need to go to the defensive line. You could pick anyone from the Fearsome Foursome: Deacon Jones (#75), Merle Olsen (#74), Rosie Grier (#76) and Lamar Lundy (#85).  And while Lundy is usually the forgotten member of the Foursome, the fact another defensive end wearing #85 is even more badass more be the bigger slight. Lundy was a tight end and defensive end for the Rams. That is pretty badass, but playing with a broken broken leg may be the most badass football story (until Ronnie Lott cuts off his finger). Jack Youngblood (#85) was so good as Deacon Jones' rookie backup, the Rams traded Jones the next season. Youngblood fractured his left leg in the divisional round of the 1979 playoffs. He played every defensive down in the Rams win against Tampa Bay as well as every defensive down in the loss to the Steelers in the Super Bowl. That is badass.

Next up...Minnesota Vikings