Lessons I've learned (so far)

I have been a stay-at-home-dad now for more than a year. I have learned a lot since saying good-bye to my desk job with the local news station, where I was writing stories about traffic accidents and mayoral scandals and missing hikers.

DISTRACTION

The most important thing I have learned while raising our daughter is nothing is so serious or painful that can not be cured through a little slight-of-hand. I do not mean magic tricks. I mean, "Hey, look at this over here! What is this?" It is amazing how those two sentences, said in the correct pitch and inflection can avert a meltdown or magically cure a boo-boo.

DENIAL

This may be my own delusional thinking, but my daughter is an angel. She does not have a mean or angry bone in her body. So when her food ends up on the floor or the dog growls at her or the coffee table has crayon hieroglyphics etched onto it, I know that the plate "fell" and Reese did not throw it, the dog should know Reese just wanted to play with him when she wielded a wooden spoon like she was auditioning for the shower scene in Psycho, and Reese accidentally missed the paper while she was coloring. Because my daughter is an angel and would NEVER do anything wrong.

SERIOUSLY

When I do reprimand Reese for "bad" behavior, I need to keep a straight face. Even though she is incredibly cute and hilarious, Reese will not believe I want her to stop playing in the dog's water dish if I am laughing. This has been a tough lesson for me, because my family is well aware of my inability to lie or keep a straight face. Apparently my oldest nephew has the same problem, and my sister laughs and points and screams, "Uncle Rick lying face! Uncle Rick lying face!"

HUG IT OUT

When I do give timeouts, Reese has gotten into a habit of crying. Up until recently, she would happily go sit down in the corner not the least bit concerned I had scolded her for opening the oven. I feel ashamed to feel happy that she cries now. I hate it when she cries, but this seems like she now knows daddy was correcting an unfavorable action. So when the timeout is over, I tell her to come "hug it out." This is mostly for my benefit, but I think she likes it, too, because it gives closure to the episode.

PATIENCE

While distraction is most important thing I have learned, patience is a close second. Dealing with toddler is exhilarating, exhausting and mind-numbing all at once. It is awesome to witness a person learn her letters, numbers, colors, etc. The first time she says a word, it truly is exciting. But it also feels like being a triage doctor (considering how much experience I actually have being any kind of doctor, let alone one in an emergency room or battlefield). I am constantly trying to assess what is the most pressing need at the time - clean her face, or clean the floor; take away the spoon, or put the dog outside; give her a bath, or put her to bed. But the flip side to all of this is I can recite most episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba, Super Why!, Sesame Street, Blues Clues, Jack's Big Music Show, Backyardigans, and Penguins of Madagascar. I often have to close my eyes, take a deep breath, and remind myself this is fun and funny.

LONELINESS

Being a stay-at-home parent is overall a very positive thing: no dress code, no micro-manager nit-picking your emails, no office politics. But a drawback many may not consider (or under estimate) is the loneliness factor. It may be different with stay-at-home-moms, but I truly do not have adult interactions most days. It is a field trip for me to go to the grocery store and say hello to the check-out clerk. When we go to the park or the children's museum or the zoo, it looks as if dads are an endangered species. I feel like "One of these things is not like the others," is playing in the background. I think other moms can talk to each other, but I feel I am all alone.