I am a big fan of the NFL. Some people are more into the college game, but I grew up following the pros and that is where my heart still resides.
I can recall when getting a team jersey was an expensive and glamorous purchase. (We're talking a couple hundred bucks, easy.) Now, you can get replicas for fairly cheap (less than $100) and can get knockoffs for even less money (you can probably find jerseys for $30 on the Internet).
As a former defensive lineman in high school and offensive lineman with the local semi-pro team (I am now the offensive and defensive line coach for the local high school freshman team) I can't wear just anyone's name and number. You will not see me sporting a DeSean Jackson or Chris Johnson or Tom Brady jersey. It has nothing to do with my opinion of how they play. In fact, I think those three players are excellent. I just can't wear a flashy player.
I need a badass player.
I could sit and preach about the most badass players from my favorite team, but that is a very restricted net indeed. I could also attempt to list the most badass players currently in the NFL. The net gets a little wider, but still not the scope I'm looking for. How about the most badass players in the history of the league? Almost there, but still not what I'm aiming for. The most badass players from each team, current and historical. Ding ding ding! We have a winner.
I will attempt to go through every team in the National Football League and name the most badass player currently on the roster (as of the end of the 2011 season) and the most badass player in franchise history. You can expect to see a lot of linemen in the upcoming posts, but there will be some linebackers, running backs and, yes, even some quarterbacks who were badass.
The definition of a badass player is not set in stone. Some are badass because of how long they played. Some are badass because of how they played. Some are badass because, well, just because. Kind of like Potter Stewart, I know a badass player when I see one. But one critical component to being a badass player is my dad NOT making fun of me if I wear that player's jersey.
So first up is Indianapolis Colts.
If you look up in the stands at Lucas Oil Stadium, you would think the team is called the 18s considering the abundance of Peyton Manning jerseys. Colt fans have every right to put 18 on his or her back. Manning turned that franchise around.
Whenever you have a pass-happy offense, critics derail the play and players as "soft." There are plenty of players who I would not describe as soft: safety Antoine Bethea is pretty hard, and tight end Dallas Clark is in discussion as the best in the business. But if I was throwing down money on a current Colt jersey, I'm going with one their three top linemen.
Center Jeff Saturday (#63) was undrafted out of North Carolina, but is easily one of the top snappers in the NFL. Defensive ends Dwight Freeney (#93) and Robert Mathis (#98) make up one of the best bookend rushing tandems ever. The two have a combined 106 sacks (Freeney has 102.5; Mathis has 82.5).
Historically, there are really only two badasses I would consider supporting. The first is widely regarded as the best all-around tight end to ever play the game, John Mackey (#88). But if I was going to buy one and only one Colt jersey I would go with Gino Marchetti (#89). Marchetti's parents did not want him to play football because they were afraid he would get hurt. Instead of absorbing punishment, the 6-foot-4 defensive end decided to doll it out. He played in the 1950s, so a lot of current fans may not know him, but Hall of Famers consider him the best all-around defensive linemen to ever lace 'em up; stout against the run and terrifying when rushing the quarterback.
Next: St. Louis Rams
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
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Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Badass Redskins
The Washington Redskins have played more than 1,000 games in franchise history, and plenty of badasses have donned the uniform during the team's 80 years of existence.
The 2012 roster has outside linebacker (and insurance salesman) Brian Orakpo (#98). Orakpo, a first-round draft pick in 2009 out of the University of Texas, has averaged 9.5 sacks per season in his three years in the NFL. Another (often overlooked) badass in London Fletcher. At 5-foot-10, Fletcher (#59) is small for an NFL linebacker. His size may have been why he was not drafted out of college. Or it could be because he played for tiny Division III school John Carroll University. But Fletcher was one of two undrafted free agents to make the St. Louis Rams 1998 roster. In his 14 years in the NFL, Fletcher has never missed a game. From undrafted free agent to 14 straight years in the NFL is pretty badass!
In the 80 years of the Washington Redskins, there have been plenty of badass players, but a couple of jersey numbers are truly special: 74 (George Starke), 68 (Russ Grimm), 53 (Jeff Bostic), 73 (Mark May), 68 (Joe Jacoby). Those are the original Hogs, the offensive linemen for the 1982 Redskin team.
Those offensive linemen were badass, but it would be a travesty to talk about Washington Redskin badasses and not mention perhaps the most badass player in league history. "Slingin' Sammy Baugh earned his nickname not as the quarterback with Washington or during his football playing days at Texas Christian University. A sportswriter gave him the moniker when Baugh was the third baseman for TCU.
As a member of the Redskins, Baugh (#33) was one of the first quarterbacks to make the forward pass a fixture for offenses. Being a great quarterback is all well-and-good, but what made Baugh a badass of the highest caliber is during his time Baugh was also the best punter and defensive back. Baugh could be considered a badass for his 1943 season alone. That was the year he led the NFL in passing, punting and interceptions. He was Tom Brady, Shane Lechler and Ed Reed rolled into one.
Next up: Jacksonville Jaguars
The 2012 roster has outside linebacker (and insurance salesman) Brian Orakpo (#98). Orakpo, a first-round draft pick in 2009 out of the University of Texas, has averaged 9.5 sacks per season in his three years in the NFL. Another (often overlooked) badass in London Fletcher. At 5-foot-10, Fletcher (#59) is small for an NFL linebacker. His size may have been why he was not drafted out of college. Or it could be because he played for tiny Division III school John Carroll University. But Fletcher was one of two undrafted free agents to make the St. Louis Rams 1998 roster. In his 14 years in the NFL, Fletcher has never missed a game. From undrafted free agent to 14 straight years in the NFL is pretty badass!
In the 80 years of the Washington Redskins, there have been plenty of badass players, but a couple of jersey numbers are truly special: 74 (George Starke), 68 (Russ Grimm), 53 (Jeff Bostic), 73 (Mark May), 68 (Joe Jacoby). Those are the original Hogs, the offensive linemen for the 1982 Redskin team.
Those offensive linemen were badass, but it would be a travesty to talk about Washington Redskin badasses and not mention perhaps the most badass player in league history. "Slingin' Sammy Baugh earned his nickname not as the quarterback with Washington or during his football playing days at Texas Christian University. A sportswriter gave him the moniker when Baugh was the third baseman for TCU.
As a member of the Redskins, Baugh (#33) was one of the first quarterbacks to make the forward pass a fixture for offenses. Being a great quarterback is all well-and-good, but what made Baugh a badass of the highest caliber is during his time Baugh was also the best punter and defensive back. Baugh could be considered a badass for his 1943 season alone. That was the year he led the NFL in passing, punting and interceptions. He was Tom Brady, Shane Lechler and Ed Reed rolled into one.
Next up: Jacksonville Jaguars
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Badass Buccaneers
Tampa Bay had an incredible 2010, surprising most analysts by racking up 10 wins despite having a young squad. The 2011 Buccaneers surprised analysts again, but because they took a giant step backwards and finished 4-12.
It takes effort finding a player currently on the roster who I would consider a badass (a player I could proudly buy his heresy and not have my dad roll his eyes at me.) Gone are all of the premier players on defense from the Super Bowl winning 2000 team. The only player worthy of being considered a badass would be running back LeGarrette Blount (#27). Blount is a power back who would rather over and through a defender then run around a defender, which earns points for badassness. But, truth be told, the defensive linemen are young (except Albert Haynesworth, who more a jackass instead of a badass) and the offensive line is OK but not spectacular (center Jeff Faine, tackle Donald Penn). Blount kind of wins this by default.
Historically, the Bucs do have some pretty badass players, even if the franchise had a horrible reputation for about 30 years. You could go down the entire defensive roster of the Super Bowl winning year (#99 Warren Sapp, #55 Derek Brooks, #47 John Lynch), and even some of the offensive guys too (#40 Mike Alstott). But the original Tampa Bay badass is Lee Roy Selmon (#63.) The defensive end from the University of Oklahoma was the 1979 Defensive Player of the Year, a six-time Pro Bowl selection and named to the 1980s All-Decade Team. Selmon is almost solely responsible for breaking up the Buccaneer's losing ways, a pretty badass achievement for a defensive lineman.
Next up: Washington Redskins
It takes effort finding a player currently on the roster who I would consider a badass (a player I could proudly buy his heresy and not have my dad roll his eyes at me.) Gone are all of the premier players on defense from the Super Bowl winning 2000 team. The only player worthy of being considered a badass would be running back LeGarrette Blount (#27). Blount is a power back who would rather over and through a defender then run around a defender, which earns points for badassness. But, truth be told, the defensive linemen are young (except Albert Haynesworth, who more a jackass instead of a badass) and the offensive line is OK but not spectacular (center Jeff Faine, tackle Donald Penn). Blount kind of wins this by default.
Historically, the Bucs do have some pretty badass players, even if the franchise had a horrible reputation for about 30 years. You could go down the entire defensive roster of the Super Bowl winning year (#99 Warren Sapp, #55 Derek Brooks, #47 John Lynch), and even some of the offensive guys too (#40 Mike Alstott). But the original Tampa Bay badass is Lee Roy Selmon (#63.) The defensive end from the University of Oklahoma was the 1979 Defensive Player of the Year, a six-time Pro Bowl selection and named to the 1980s All-Decade Team. Selmon is almost solely responsible for breaking up the Buccaneer's losing ways, a pretty badass achievement for a defensive lineman.
Next up: Washington Redskins
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Badass Browns
Who is the best left tackle in football? If Cleveland's Joe Thomas isn't the best, he isn't far behind. Other Browns players have admitted the only reason why quarterback Derek Anderson was selected to the Pro Bowl in 2008 was because Thomas was an absolute wall on the left side. Thomas has been selected to the Pro Bowl all five years he has been in the NFL. It's pretty easy to say #73 is a badass.
Who else currently on the Browns could be called a badass? Running back Peyton Hillis was in 2010, but his refusal to play with minor injuries erased any possibility of inclusion in this discussion. Center Alex Mack (#55) has started all 48 games in his three year career, which is badass. Linebacker D'Qwell Jackson (#52) is overlooked by the other fantastic defenders in the AFC North, but he had 116 solo tackles last year, all with a pectoral problem that sidelined him the past two years. Badass, indeed.
The Browns franchise is littered with tons of badass players, and I could delve into the worthiness of RB Marion Motley (#76/#36), TE Ozzie Newsome (#82), and even QB Otto Graham (#60/#14), but the only *real* badass in Brown history is probably one of the biggest badasses in all of American sports history, not just NFL history. Jim Brown (#32) averaged 5.2 yards per carry, a feat that totally boggles comprehension considering opposing defenses knew he was going to get the ball. And he was also widely considered the best lacrosse player of all time. Brown belongs on the Mount Rushmore of Badass.
Next up: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Who else currently on the Browns could be called a badass? Running back Peyton Hillis was in 2010, but his refusal to play with minor injuries erased any possibility of inclusion in this discussion. Center Alex Mack (#55) has started all 48 games in his three year career, which is badass. Linebacker D'Qwell Jackson (#52) is overlooked by the other fantastic defenders in the AFC North, but he had 116 solo tackles last year, all with a pectoral problem that sidelined him the past two years. Badass, indeed.
The Browns franchise is littered with tons of badass players, and I could delve into the worthiness of RB Marion Motley (#76/#36), TE Ozzie Newsome (#82), and even QB Otto Graham (#60/#14), but the only *real* badass in Brown history is probably one of the biggest badasses in all of American sports history, not just NFL history. Jim Brown (#32) averaged 5.2 yards per carry, a feat that totally boggles comprehension considering opposing defenses knew he was going to get the ball. And he was also widely considered the best lacrosse player of all time. Brown belongs on the Mount Rushmore of Badass.
Next up: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Badass Vikings
The Vikings weren't supposed to be great in 2011, but not many expected Minnesota would finish with the third-worst record in the NFL at 3-13.
The lack of wins could be a reflection in the lack of badasses. Defensive end Jared Allen (#69) was a badass when he was with the Kansas City Chiefs and has continued his mullet-fueled mayhem while donning Viking purple. Allen's 22 sacks was a Favre-like fall down from breaking Michael Strahan's 22.5 in 2001.
Guard Steve Hutchinson was a badass when he came over from Seattle in 2006, but a broken thumb two years ago and a concussion last year means big #76 has not played a full season since 2009 and may not be back in 2012.
Adrian Peterson (#28) is a linebacker playing running, which is pretty badass, but an ugly knee injury forced the former Oklahoma Sooner to miss the final four games of 2011. Plus, you may want to hold off buying a #28 jersey just yet as Peterson announced on Twitter he is thinking about changing his number.
As for historically badass Vikings, the first players that jump to mind are the Purple People Eaters of the 1960s and '70s. Alan Page (#88) and Carl Eller (#81) are in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, and Jim Marshall (#70) is often discussed as one of the best players NOT in Canton, but The Norse Nightmare, Gary Larsen (#77) was pretty badass.
Guard Randall McDaniel (#64) started 12 straight Pro Bowls from 1989 to 2000, which is amazingly badass. Chris Doleman (#56) is fourth in NFL history with 150.5 sacks. One of my favorite all-time players was #93, John Randle, and his recent induction into Canton was well-deserved.
But if you want to really impress people with your knowledge of badass Vikings, sport either a #53 or 73 jersey. Mick Tingelhoff (#53) never missed a start at center in his 17 years with Minnesota. Ron Yary (#73) was the first offensive lineman to ever be selected with the first overall pick in the draft and only missed two games in his 15 seasons due to a broken ankle.
Next up Cleveland Browns.
The lack of wins could be a reflection in the lack of badasses. Defensive end Jared Allen (#69) was a badass when he was with the Kansas City Chiefs and has continued his mullet-fueled mayhem while donning Viking purple. Allen's 22 sacks was a Favre-like fall down from breaking Michael Strahan's 22.5 in 2001.
Guard Steve Hutchinson was a badass when he came over from Seattle in 2006, but a broken thumb two years ago and a concussion last year means big #76 has not played a full season since 2009 and may not be back in 2012.
Adrian Peterson (#28) is a linebacker playing running, which is pretty badass, but an ugly knee injury forced the former Oklahoma Sooner to miss the final four games of 2011. Plus, you may want to hold off buying a #28 jersey just yet as Peterson announced on Twitter he is thinking about changing his number.
As for historically badass Vikings, the first players that jump to mind are the Purple People Eaters of the 1960s and '70s. Alan Page (#88) and Carl Eller (#81) are in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, and Jim Marshall (#70) is often discussed as one of the best players NOT in Canton, but The Norse Nightmare, Gary Larsen (#77) was pretty badass.
Guard Randall McDaniel (#64) started 12 straight Pro Bowls from 1989 to 2000, which is amazingly badass. Chris Doleman (#56) is fourth in NFL history with 150.5 sacks. One of my favorite all-time players was #93, John Randle, and his recent induction into Canton was well-deserved.
But if you want to really impress people with your knowledge of badass Vikings, sport either a #53 or 73 jersey. Mick Tingelhoff (#53) never missed a start at center in his 17 years with Minnesota. Ron Yary (#73) was the first offensive lineman to ever be selected with the first overall pick in the draft and only missed two games in his 15 seasons due to a broken ankle.
Next up Cleveland Browns.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Badass Rams
The Rams have quite a history. The present, however, is historically disappointing. The 2011 version of the Rams finished with just two wins. It was a fairly forgettable group, and not many are worthy of me spending money on a jersey.
A few exemptions do stand out, though, and both have famous fathers. Defensive end Chris Long (#91) racked up 13 sacks in 2011 and continues to draw comparisons to his dad, eight-time Pro Bowl selection Howie Long. Linebacker James Laurinatis (#55) had the eighth-most total tackles in the NFL last year (142) and the third-most solo tackles (105), which I find more badass than anything his dad did as The Animal in professional wrestling.
But the current crop pales in comparison to the greats that have represented the Rams organization. Tom Mack (#65) had a Hall of Fame career at left guard, Jackie Slater (#78) should be mentioned when discussing best left tackles of all-time, and while some might want to include Orlando Pace (#76) in that argument as well, I would leave him out. Marshall Faulk (#28) may be a running back, but my criteria for badass-ness is "What jersey would my dad be OK wearing?" Since Faulk went to San Diego State, and my dad is a former Aztec, Faulk be more than acceptable.
If you want to talk about badass Rams, you really need to go to the defensive line. You could pick anyone from the Fearsome Foursome: Deacon Jones (#75), Merle Olsen (#74), Rosie Grier (#76) and Lamar Lundy (#85). And while Lundy is usually the forgotten member of the Foursome, the fact another defensive end wearing #85 is even more badass more be the bigger slight. Lundy was a tight end and defensive end for the Rams. That is pretty badass, but playing with a broken broken leg may be the most badass football story (until Ronnie Lott cuts off his finger). Jack Youngblood (#85) was so good as Deacon Jones' rookie backup, the Rams traded Jones the next season. Youngblood fractured his left leg in the divisional round of the 1979 playoffs. He played every defensive down in the Rams win against Tampa Bay as well as every defensive down in the loss to the Steelers in the Super Bowl. That is badass.
Next up...Minnesota Vikings
A few exemptions do stand out, though, and both have famous fathers. Defensive end Chris Long (#91) racked up 13 sacks in 2011 and continues to draw comparisons to his dad, eight-time Pro Bowl selection Howie Long. Linebacker James Laurinatis (#55) had the eighth-most total tackles in the NFL last year (142) and the third-most solo tackles (105), which I find more badass than anything his dad did as The Animal in professional wrestling.
But the current crop pales in comparison to the greats that have represented the Rams organization. Tom Mack (#65) had a Hall of Fame career at left guard, Jackie Slater (#78) should be mentioned when discussing best left tackles of all-time, and while some might want to include Orlando Pace (#76) in that argument as well, I would leave him out. Marshall Faulk (#28) may be a running back, but my criteria for badass-ness is "What jersey would my dad be OK wearing?" Since Faulk went to San Diego State, and my dad is a former Aztec, Faulk be more than acceptable.
If you want to talk about badass Rams, you really need to go to the defensive line. You could pick anyone from the Fearsome Foursome: Deacon Jones (#75), Merle Olsen (#74), Rosie Grier (#76) and Lamar Lundy (#85). And while Lundy is usually the forgotten member of the Foursome, the fact another defensive end wearing #85 is even more badass more be the bigger slight. Lundy was a tight end and defensive end for the Rams. That is pretty badass, but playing with a broken broken leg may be the most badass football story (until Ronnie Lott cuts off his finger). Jack Youngblood (#85) was so good as Deacon Jones' rookie backup, the Rams traded Jones the next season. Youngblood fractured his left leg in the divisional round of the 1979 playoffs. He played every defensive down in the Rams win against Tampa Bay as well as every defensive down in the loss to the Steelers in the Super Bowl. That is badass.
Next up...Minnesota Vikings
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Timeout? I don't need your sticking timeout!
Amy and I choose not to spank. Actually, Amy chose it and I agreed. I am fairly indifferent to corporal punishment, but Amy was pretty set against it, so we give Reese timeouts.
Luckily Reese is a pretty good kid and we haven't had to give her too many timeouts, but as she is getting older and trying to exert her independence, the punishments are becoming more frequent. Still, the timeouts are a rarity.
I would think because timeouts are rare, they would be perceived as extreme and a notice to Reese that whatever action just occurred was heinous enough to deserve punishment. I would think. Reese, apparently, thinks otherwise.
Ever since we first started giving her timeouts, she gladly (almost proudly) would walk to the corner and sit down. She would not fuss and would not fight. She would walk (sometimes smiling) right to the corner and sit down. It is not as if I want Reese to cry, but some sort of remorseful reaction would be an indication she understands timeouts are to be avoided.
A very recent example of her defiance in that face of punishment happened at a friend's house. The friends have a piano that sits in an adjoining room to the living room where all of the toys were and where everyone was congregated. Reese was immediately enthralled with the piano and went into the room to bang a key. I quickly scooped her up and told her the piano was off limits and showed her the toys and her friend in the living room. The toys and friend and living room satiated her for a bit, but Reese soon went back to the piano. I quickly scooped her up and told her the piano was off limits and showed her the toys and her friend in the living room. Again, she played and was busy, but again she made her way to the piano and hit some keys. I scooped her up and sternly told her not to do that again or else she would get a timeout. I put her down and felt a little bashful that my daughter was disobeying me so openly and other people saw it. Reese played a little bit, then made her way to the piano room again. I called her name, she turned and looked at me, I told her not to go in there or she would get a timeout, and she continued to look at me but also continued to slowly inch her way to the piano room. I told her again she would get a timeout. She smiled at me, turned, walked into the piano room and hit a key. I called her name as I walked over to her, she walked out of the piano room with a smile on her face, walked over to a corner and sat down.
She knows what a timeout means. She understands that a timeout means she has to sit facing a corner. Clearly she knows this.
Her reaction to the threat of a timeout was, "The crime is worth the time. I do not mind a timeout if it means I can play the piano."
Isn't that part of what a punishment is supposed to be, a deterrent? Some people in our society do not commit crimes because they see them as immoral. Others, however, do not commit crimes because they do not want to go to jail.
So what do you do if a criminal is not deterred by the prospective punishment? Do you increase the punishment?
Just last week I was making the bed and Reese climbed onto our bathroom sink and turned on the water. This is an almost daily habit for her neither Amy nor I encourage or allow. I had scolded her earlier about it, so this time I picked her up and physically put her in her room. She was not happy about it for about 30 seconds, then she started playing in her room.
Is it time to try out spanking? Is rulers across the knuckles too Old School Catholic School Nun? I'm pretty sure Amy (not to mention the department of social services) would not look kindly on putting a toddler in stocks (the 17th and 18th Century public punishment, not NASDAQ or Dow Jones). And waterboarding is now an international crime, and I don't want to go to The Hague because Reese kicked at the dog.
Maybe the timeouts need to be longer? Maybe they need to be more frequent? Maybe they need to be in a different place? Maybe I need to send her to her room more often?
Whatever needs to happen needs to happen, because whatever is happening now is clearly not working.
Luckily Reese is a pretty good kid and we haven't had to give her too many timeouts, but as she is getting older and trying to exert her independence, the punishments are becoming more frequent. Still, the timeouts are a rarity.
I would think because timeouts are rare, they would be perceived as extreme and a notice to Reese that whatever action just occurred was heinous enough to deserve punishment. I would think. Reese, apparently, thinks otherwise.
Ever since we first started giving her timeouts, she gladly (almost proudly) would walk to the corner and sit down. She would not fuss and would not fight. She would walk (sometimes smiling) right to the corner and sit down. It is not as if I want Reese to cry, but some sort of remorseful reaction would be an indication she understands timeouts are to be avoided.
A very recent example of her defiance in that face of punishment happened at a friend's house. The friends have a piano that sits in an adjoining room to the living room where all of the toys were and where everyone was congregated. Reese was immediately enthralled with the piano and went into the room to bang a key. I quickly scooped her up and told her the piano was off limits and showed her the toys and her friend in the living room. The toys and friend and living room satiated her for a bit, but Reese soon went back to the piano. I quickly scooped her up and told her the piano was off limits and showed her the toys and her friend in the living room. Again, she played and was busy, but again she made her way to the piano and hit some keys. I scooped her up and sternly told her not to do that again or else she would get a timeout. I put her down and felt a little bashful that my daughter was disobeying me so openly and other people saw it. Reese played a little bit, then made her way to the piano room again. I called her name, she turned and looked at me, I told her not to go in there or she would get a timeout, and she continued to look at me but also continued to slowly inch her way to the piano room. I told her again she would get a timeout. She smiled at me, turned, walked into the piano room and hit a key. I called her name as I walked over to her, she walked out of the piano room with a smile on her face, walked over to a corner and sat down.
She knows what a timeout means. She understands that a timeout means she has to sit facing a corner. Clearly she knows this.
Her reaction to the threat of a timeout was, "The crime is worth the time. I do not mind a timeout if it means I can play the piano."
Isn't that part of what a punishment is supposed to be, a deterrent? Some people in our society do not commit crimes because they see them as immoral. Others, however, do not commit crimes because they do not want to go to jail.
So what do you do if a criminal is not deterred by the prospective punishment? Do you increase the punishment?
Just last week I was making the bed and Reese climbed onto our bathroom sink and turned on the water. This is an almost daily habit for her neither Amy nor I encourage or allow. I had scolded her earlier about it, so this time I picked her up and physically put her in her room. She was not happy about it for about 30 seconds, then she started playing in her room.
Is it time to try out spanking? Is rulers across the knuckles too Old School Catholic School Nun? I'm pretty sure Amy (not to mention the department of social services) would not look kindly on putting a toddler in stocks (the 17th and 18th Century public punishment, not NASDAQ or Dow Jones). And waterboarding is now an international crime, and I don't want to go to The Hague because Reese kicked at the dog.
Maybe the timeouts need to be longer? Maybe they need to be more frequent? Maybe they need to be in a different place? Maybe I need to send her to her room more often?
Whatever needs to happen needs to happen, because whatever is happening now is clearly not working.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Big Trouble
I know I have mentioned major steps in Reese's development before (Game Changer), but this is a little different. This is more of a realization that I have my hands full, or at least will have my hands full (VERY full) in the near future.
The other day I was in the kitchen standing next to the refrigerator and Ripken was lying next to my feet. Reese was watching Yo Gabba Gabba or Sesame Street or some other show. Or at least she was watching the show initially, because I noticed she had started to walk into the kitchen and right toward Ripken. As I watched her, Ripken noticed her, too, and he would look at her, then look at me. Reese only stared at Ripken and, in the awkward toddler way of walking, tried to creep quietly and secretly toward the dog. Ripken had his eyes on her, though, and then would look to me as if to say, "What is she planning on doing to me? Please save me!" It was actually quite amusing to see a 2-year-old attempt to sneak up on a dog that is looking straight at her.
When she got just in front of me and about an arm's length away from Ripken, Reese suddenly turned to me and said, "Boo!"
I was surprised. Not surprised insomuch that I jumped or was startled. But I was surprised because not once did she give any sort of indication she paid any attention to me.
I am no child psychologist and I have never taken any early childhood development courses, but it seems to me the behaviour she exhibited shows an incredible amount of intelligence. She tried to trick me. She tried to make me think she was after the dog. She tried to manipulate my train of thought. And she did more than try. She succeeded!
Last night at dinner Reese started playing with her food. Amy was scolding her, but Reese kept on playing with her food. Amy took away her food and tried to make sure Reese understood playing with food was not acceptable behaviour at the dinner table. Reese kind of slumped her shoulders as most people do when getting into trouble, but she quickly sat up, opened her eyes wide, pointed to the center piece and exclaimed, "Flowers!"
Now it is entirely possible Reese was suddenly happy to see flowers in the middle of the table, even though they were there all day (two days, actually). But it sure did seem to me (and Amy) Reese was trying to distract mom from discipline her. Reese was using the distraction trick we had been using on her! (Lessons I've Learned So Far)
Again, this sort of behavior shows (at least to me) an advanced way of thinking (at least for a 2-year-old). For her to use distraction, it shows she thinks she can get into the way Amy and I are thinking. She thinks flowers are so exciting to us, we will forget at her playing with food. Trying to guess other people's emotions is called empathy, and it is something some adults have trouble with. But here is a toddler attempting to gauge our emotional response to flowers.
Amy and I are in big trouble, because if 2-year-old Reese is already successfully manipulating my reactions and unsuccessfully distracting us from her getting into trouble, what can we expect when she is a teenager?
I shudder at the thought.
The other day I was in the kitchen standing next to the refrigerator and Ripken was lying next to my feet. Reese was watching Yo Gabba Gabba or Sesame Street or some other show. Or at least she was watching the show initially, because I noticed she had started to walk into the kitchen and right toward Ripken. As I watched her, Ripken noticed her, too, and he would look at her, then look at me. Reese only stared at Ripken and, in the awkward toddler way of walking, tried to creep quietly and secretly toward the dog. Ripken had his eyes on her, though, and then would look to me as if to say, "What is she planning on doing to me? Please save me!" It was actually quite amusing to see a 2-year-old attempt to sneak up on a dog that is looking straight at her.
When she got just in front of me and about an arm's length away from Ripken, Reese suddenly turned to me and said, "Boo!"
I was surprised. Not surprised insomuch that I jumped or was startled. But I was surprised because not once did she give any sort of indication she paid any attention to me.
I am no child psychologist and I have never taken any early childhood development courses, but it seems to me the behaviour she exhibited shows an incredible amount of intelligence. She tried to trick me. She tried to make me think she was after the dog. She tried to manipulate my train of thought. And she did more than try. She succeeded!
Last night at dinner Reese started playing with her food. Amy was scolding her, but Reese kept on playing with her food. Amy took away her food and tried to make sure Reese understood playing with food was not acceptable behaviour at the dinner table. Reese kind of slumped her shoulders as most people do when getting into trouble, but she quickly sat up, opened her eyes wide, pointed to the center piece and exclaimed, "Flowers!"
Now it is entirely possible Reese was suddenly happy to see flowers in the middle of the table, even though they were there all day (two days, actually). But it sure did seem to me (and Amy) Reese was trying to distract mom from discipline her. Reese was using the distraction trick we had been using on her! (Lessons I've Learned So Far)
Again, this sort of behavior shows (at least to me) an advanced way of thinking (at least for a 2-year-old). For her to use distraction, it shows she thinks she can get into the way Amy and I are thinking. She thinks flowers are so exciting to us, we will forget at her playing with food. Trying to guess other people's emotions is called empathy, and it is something some adults have trouble with. But here is a toddler attempting to gauge our emotional response to flowers.
Amy and I are in big trouble, because if 2-year-old Reese is already successfully manipulating my reactions and unsuccessfully distracting us from her getting into trouble, what can we expect when she is a teenager?
I shudder at the thought.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Stationery card
Snowflake Dazzle Christmas Card
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Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Greatest achievement
I am a fan of trivia. I get it from my dad. We sometimes call my dad Cliffy Clavin, a reference to the know-it-all postman from the '80s sitcom "Cheers."
I get a trivia question e-mailed to me every morning. Sometimes they are easy, sometimes hard, and they cover all types of categories. The one yesterday was fairly easy - Which president bought the Louisiana Purchase - and the answer page had a sentence or two about the question. The answer page yesterday said the Louisiana Purchase was Thomas Jefferson's greatest achievement as president. It's hard to argue that statement considering it more than doubled the size of the USA for about $15 million and something close to 10 cents an acre.
I asked my dad, who was a history teacher besides being a trivia buff, what he thought the greatest achievement of the United States was. He was stumped. He said he would think about it and get back to me with an answer.
There are many things America could hang it's hat on - The Constitution, Declaration of Independence, Civil War, Emancipation Proclamation, Panama Canal, Normandy Invasion, leading country and host of United Nations, etc. All of those are worthy achievements to be considered, even though the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution were technically achievements before we became a nation.
When Amy came home from work, I posed the question to her. She waited just second and then asked me, "What is your greatest achievement?"
Right away I answered, "Marrying you and having Reese."
And it's true. Those are the things I am most proud of in my life.
There are other things I am also quite proud of, too, like becoming a professional journalist at 19 years old; getting a job (StreetZebra) without any type of connection or networking; being out of football for 17 years and then not only making the Portland Raiders, but starting at center, getting invited to the All Star game and being named second-team all-league; and, of course, beating cancer. I told Amy that I am most proud of my attitude during the cancer episode, because I mostly laid back and let the doctors and nurses and needle and drugs beat cancer. She said I need to give myself more credit. I am, indeed, very proud of my attitude, but I do not think I could have had that attitude (or, at least, I do not think I could maintain that attitude) for the duration of my fight.
I flipped the question back to her.
"What is your greatest achievement?"
She said her husband and daughter.
She then went on to describe other things she is proud of, and I think the one that most impresses me is she packed up her entire life and moved from Washington D.C. to San Francisco when she was 24. Moving anywhere is quite an ordeal, but moving cross-country, where you know no one? That's got to be scary. But she did it, re-invented herself, and emerged a successful woman. I think that's greater than anything I've done.
And I'm pretty sure she drove the whole distance, too.
Which kind of ties into what my dad later said was the greatest achievement of the United States.
Transcontinental railroad.
I get a trivia question e-mailed to me every morning. Sometimes they are easy, sometimes hard, and they cover all types of categories. The one yesterday was fairly easy - Which president bought the Louisiana Purchase - and the answer page had a sentence or two about the question. The answer page yesterday said the Louisiana Purchase was Thomas Jefferson's greatest achievement as president. It's hard to argue that statement considering it more than doubled the size of the USA for about $15 million and something close to 10 cents an acre.
I asked my dad, who was a history teacher besides being a trivia buff, what he thought the greatest achievement of the United States was. He was stumped. He said he would think about it and get back to me with an answer.
There are many things America could hang it's hat on - The Constitution, Declaration of Independence, Civil War, Emancipation Proclamation, Panama Canal, Normandy Invasion, leading country and host of United Nations, etc. All of those are worthy achievements to be considered, even though the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution were technically achievements before we became a nation.
When Amy came home from work, I posed the question to her. She waited just second and then asked me, "What is your greatest achievement?"
Right away I answered, "Marrying you and having Reese."
And it's true. Those are the things I am most proud of in my life.
There are other things I am also quite proud of, too, like becoming a professional journalist at 19 years old; getting a job (StreetZebra) without any type of connection or networking; being out of football for 17 years and then not only making the Portland Raiders, but starting at center, getting invited to the All Star game and being named second-team all-league; and, of course, beating cancer. I told Amy that I am most proud of my attitude during the cancer episode, because I mostly laid back and let the doctors and nurses and needle and drugs beat cancer. She said I need to give myself more credit. I am, indeed, very proud of my attitude, but I do not think I could have had that attitude (or, at least, I do not think I could maintain that attitude) for the duration of my fight.
I flipped the question back to her.
"What is your greatest achievement?"
She said her husband and daughter.
She then went on to describe other things she is proud of, and I think the one that most impresses me is she packed up her entire life and moved from Washington D.C. to San Francisco when she was 24. Moving anywhere is quite an ordeal, but moving cross-country, where you know no one? That's got to be scary. But she did it, re-invented herself, and emerged a successful woman. I think that's greater than anything I've done.
And I'm pretty sure she drove the whole distance, too.
Which kind of ties into what my dad later said was the greatest achievement of the United States.
Transcontinental railroad.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Vampire, pirate or mermaid?
Amy had a work dinner last week and asked me an interesting question when she got home.
"Would you rather be a vampire, a pirate or a merman?"
Apparently it was a question someone threw out during the dinner.
As she works in the financial world, it was easy to predict the majority of her co-workers chose pirate. A pirate, at least in the romanticized views of Hollywood, leads a very exciting life of adventure. Who wouldn't want to chase after gold, drink rum until you can't see straight and socialize with women of ill repute? But pirate life was not what Captain Jack Sparrow (or even Treasure Island) portray it to be.
The fact is, being a pirate was a pretty nasty existence. You were poor. Like, real poor. You did bad things. Like, REAL bad things. (There are stories of pirates torturing governors of cities while his family looked on; and also torturing the family while the governor looked on.) But even if one decided to be a "good" pirate, you were still stealing from others. Maybe you could try to justify it by saying it is just like Robin Hood, but in a different location, but I could retort that it's just like the Taliban, but in a different location. And even if you were the only pirate on the boat who did not pillage and kill, your closest associates WOULD pillage and kill, making you an accessory to their crimes! (I guess if you did not pillage and kill, you could someday have a Gilbert and Sullivan play written about your life as a pirate king, but that would be a long shot.) So being a pirate generally meant you were going to be a bad person, or, at the very least, be associated with very bad people.
Being a vampire would be just as bad, probably worse, than being a pirate. Vampires are, literally, monsters. Piracy, on the other hand, is a merely profession, albeit a pretty nasty profession. Being a vampire may sound appealing (if you're a 14-year-old girl), but living forever really would be depressing. Sure, you could learn to play every single instrument in an orchestra, and learn every language in the world, and read the entire Library of Congress, but every single person you meet will die, even you are not the one to kill them. Not surprising, my wife and the only other female at that dinner chose vampire as their answers.
Me, I did not hesitate to say merman. Unlike the other two, being a merman or mermaid does not come with inherent evil issues (steal, torture, kill, drink blood, glitter in sunlight, etc.). A mer-creature is just another living being. You can choose to be good or bad. A mer-creature is not weighed down with the urge to drink blood, or sworn to burn down an entire seaport. As a merman, I could swim to a my mer-job, make my mer-money, and go home to my mer-family. What's not to like about that?
Monday, November 14, 2011
Hiatus
I realize it has been longer than a month since my last post.
Please forgive the
extended hiatus. It was unintentional. No real good reason for the lay-off.
There may be a lot of reasons, but none of them are real good.
The fact of the
matter is I have had a pretty rough month or so.
It started with
getting news that a man I played flag football with on Sunday mornings died at
work. I did not know him exceptionally well, only the few hours each Sunday
during the fall and winter when a handful of guys (and some girls, too) would
meet at a grassy park and throw the football around. All told, I may have had a
total of 180 hours with him, but he left an impression on me. I had talked with
Amy about the group of guys I played flag football with and we had agreed it
would be nice to have Curtis and his family over for dinner or lunch or
something some time. But I never got around to asking him. His death really did
hit me hard. It might be because he had a family (a son and two daughters). It
might be because he was young and in shape (he was like Brett Favre at
quarterback, throwing fastballs into double coverage and making broken plays
somehow fixed; plus, he was a beast at linebacker). Or it might be because I
don't have a lot of close male friends in this area, and he was one of the few
I respected.
Shortly after the
news of Curtis' death, Reese got sick. Like REAL sick. It was a Sunday night
and Reese went to bed without too much hassle. She woke up before midnight
coughing, so I went to her room and lay down on her floor to comfort her. Her
coughing stopped and she was asleep in less than 10 minutes, but Ripken woke up
and was whining. I left Reese's room and took the dog downstairs and let him
out in the backyard, but he was still whinny. I was frustrated, so I just left
the backdoor open and sat down on the couch and flipped on the TV to pass the
time until Ripken chilled out. Reese would intermittently cough and whine for a
few seconds, but would be quiet quickly thereafter and remain asleep (or at
least silent) for 10 to 15 minutes before coughing again. Ripken had just
settled down and had stopped whining and I was getting ready to bring him back
up to bed (he sleeps in our room) when Reese started to cough again. Then I
heard splashing. Then she started to really cry. I rushed up to her room as Amy
was waking up from the crying. Reese had thrown up all over her floor (she has
slept in her bed twice since we converted it from the crib, so she sleeps on
her floor. Amy and I think she sleeps on the floor because she is a very active
sleeper, rolling around a lot, and she fell off the bed the first night after
we converted it.) The vomit was in her lap. The vomit was in her hair. The
vomit was on the carpet. The vomit was on her blankets. I snatched Reese up and
carried her to the guest bathroom and set her down in the bathtub. I stripped
her and turned on the water. Amy came in and took over with the bath as I
tackled the mess in the bedroom. We have a SpotVac that we used for accidents
from the dog, but it was enlisted for a different dirty job that night. I
started a load of laundry and continued my efforts in her room. Amy finished
Reese's bath and got her new pajamas and took her into our bed. Then Reese
vomited again. I stripped our bed and Amy took Reese into the guest bedroom. I
was just finishing up cleaning Reese's room when she vomited in the guest bed.
Amy had an important meeting at work first thing Monday morning and she needed
to get to bed (it was approaching 2 a.m.), so she got some sheets, tossed them
on our bed and tried to sleep. I got a bowl from the kitchen, a bunch of towels
and had Reese in the guest bed. She threw up a couple more times, but she was
done by 5:30 or so. She had diarrhea in the morning, but was relatively fine
the rest of the day (I was a walking zombie, though). Reese was a little warm
and obviously tired, but overall she recovered quickly. But when we put her to
sleep Monday night, she threw up again. This time it wasn't as bad, and we didn't
need to clean everything because she was on a bunch of towels, blankets and
other easily washable sheets.
It was also that
week that she was sick that a friend of mine had died from a form of brain
cancer called Glioblatoma multiforme. That news hit me harder than the news of
Curtis's death because I had worked with her at Disneyland. Catou, which is a
German form of Catherine, was young and beautiful and successful and athletic,
but she had been suffering and battling this cancer for two years. Her parents
would send out email updates regarding her fight, but the last few updates
seemed to show that the end was near as Catou would be awake and alert less and
less and her appetite was going away. I am thankful to her parents for the
updates, but it was also sometimes hard to read. But every update added that
Catou was in good spirits and not in pain. Still, it was incredibly sad to hear
that parents were about to bury their daughter, and maybe that is another
reason her death hit me so hard.
The next week, I
came down with a nasty cold which zapped whatever remaining strength if I was a
zombie before, I don't know how to describe what I was with that cold. A lot of
orange juice later, and the cold subsided, but on Monday I woke up with the
worst back pain I had felt since 2000. Most of you probably know, but for those
of you who do not, I was diagnosed with testicular cancer on May 1, 2000. But I
did not go to the doctor because of any "cancer-related issues,"
whatever the hell that means. I went to the doctor because I had incredible
back pain. I had the back pain for about a month. I did not do anything
significant that would have caused the back pain - I was not moving furniture,
I was not lifting boxes of books, I was not tipping cows over in the middle of
the night. My back pain was unbelievable. I could not stand, I could not sit, I
could not lie down. I was taking 15 to 20 anti-inflammatories a day, and yet
the back pain persisted. Why did I wait so long to go to the doctor? Well, I
was 24 at the time and wildly optimistic and reasoned I pulled a muscle.
Second, I did not have a whole lot of money. And third, and most important, the
magazine I was working for did not give me insurance. Yet. I received insurance
and went into the doctor the next day. The doctor took an x-ray of my chest to
see if he could see anything wrong with my back. He instantly saw a tumor in my
chest pushing on my lungs and saw my lymph nodes were swollen and pressing on
my spinal column. Not fun. So when I had major back pain again, my mind thought
of cancer. The death of my good friend due to brain cancer probably had a major
reason I thought of my past issue because I have had back pain in the past and
never thought about cancer. My back pain this time was so severe, Amy came home
for lunch, saw me efforting to do regular house work and called in to her
supervisor and to say she had to stay home with me. I went to the doctor's
office that afternoon, and then went to the hospital the next morning for a
blood test (Amy had to stay home Tuesday morning for that, as well). The blood
test came back perfect, so that was a relief. But I have been going to a
chiropractor and message therapist weekly ever since.
Halloween was OK,
except that it was on Monday night. Not that Monday night Halloween is anything
horrible. But the San Diego Chargers were playing that night, and I really
wanted to watch the game. It was hard to pay attention when the doorbell kept
ringing every 30 seconds, but seeing Reese hand out candy and then ending with,
"Ba-bye. Thank you." She was not scared or timid even if the costumes
were more mature and bloody. She was happy and excited to meet the
trick-or-treaters at the door.
Reese's two-year
birthday was low-key, just the three of us at home. We used Skype to talk with
grandparents as she opened some presents. I made a cake to look like Sesame
Street's new central character Elmo. I wasn't too sure it actually looked like
Elmo, but when I showed it to Reese, she immediately said, "Elmo!"
That was all of the confirmation any chef could ask for! Two days later, we
flew done to Long Beach. Saturday was her birthday party at my sister's house,
complete with a Sesame Street bounce house. A handful of my closest friends and
their families came to help celebrate, and I think everyone had a blast. The
next morning, Amy and I drove up to Santa Barbara to have lunch with one of
Amy's friends. We then drove up the California coast to spend four days and
three nights in the Carmel/Monterrey/Big Sur area for our fifth wedding
anniversary. We drove back Wednesday morning, and hit some hellish traffic on
the way back. What should have been about a six hour drive back was about a
nine hour drive back. Actually, it was more of a four hour drive and then a
four hour crawl. Santa Barbara is only about five total exits on the freeway,
and it took us an hour to go from one end to the other. Thanksgiving was back
at my sister's house with all of my family and my brother-in-law's family. The
next day we went to my other sister's house and let the cousins play together
one last time. The weather was phenomenal - bright, clear, sunny. The weather -
and the way Reese played with her cousins - made it difficult to leave the next
morning, but we had a plane to catch. Arriving in Portland, the weather
certainly made it feel like November and autumn, but it didn't feel like home.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
The Other F Word
It was just about two weeks ago that I wrote about the dilema of raising Reese for an appreciation of punk rock music and the ethos of "Fuck Authority." (Click here to re-visit that amazing piece of writing)
Well, it turns out there is going to be a documentary coving that exact topic. Instead of interviewing boring subjects like myself, the movie asks how it feels to move from punk rocker to dad for actual punk rockers. (The movie's website says people interviewed played: Black Flag, Pennywise, NoFX, Bad Religion, The Vandals, Rancid, DEVO, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Adolescents, Everclear, Total Chaos, T.S.O.L., Circle Jerks, blink 182, Bouncing Souls, Rise Against, and US Bombs, along with professional skateboarding icon Tony Hawk and professional BMX rider Rick Thorne.)
I was super excited to see this movie, but now I see that it is in limited release (VERY limited release, as in, like 17 theaters). I guess the only way I get to see it is take a vacation to one of the cities the weekend it's playing (San Francisco? Seattle? San Diego? Berkeley? Los Angeles?) or sign up for NetFlix and wait for it to come out on DVD.
You would think there would be a pretty sizable audience for a movie like this in the greater Portland area. Portland does have a pretty big anti-authoritarian groove to it. But that groove is more geared toward hippies than punkers. And about the only thing punkers dislike more than being told what to do is smelly hippies. (Seriously. It's called soap and water, hippy. Use it!)
But if you do live in one of the select cities where this is showing, go see it and tell me how it is. Also, it has a pretty cool title: The Other F Word.
Well, it turns out there is going to be a documentary coving that exact topic. Instead of interviewing boring subjects like myself, the movie asks how it feels to move from punk rocker to dad for actual punk rockers. (The movie's website says people interviewed played: Black Flag, Pennywise, NoFX, Bad Religion, The Vandals, Rancid, DEVO, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Adolescents, Everclear, Total Chaos, T.S.O.L., Circle Jerks, blink 182, Bouncing Souls, Rise Against, and US Bombs, along with professional skateboarding icon Tony Hawk and professional BMX rider Rick Thorne.)
I was super excited to see this movie, but now I see that it is in limited release (VERY limited release, as in, like 17 theaters). I guess the only way I get to see it is take a vacation to one of the cities the weekend it's playing (San Francisco? Seattle? San Diego? Berkeley? Los Angeles?) or sign up for NetFlix and wait for it to come out on DVD.
You would think there would be a pretty sizable audience for a movie like this in the greater Portland area. Portland does have a pretty big anti-authoritarian groove to it. But that groove is more geared toward hippies than punkers. And about the only thing punkers dislike more than being told what to do is smelly hippies. (Seriously. It's called soap and water, hippy. Use it!)
But if you do live in one of the select cities where this is showing, go see it and tell me how it is. Also, it has a pretty cool title: The Other F Word.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Hurt birds
When I was in college, I dated a girl a little bit older than me in age, but she seemed a little bit younger than me in terms of emotional age.
Let me explain...
First, she was a cheer coach at her old high school. She was a cheerleader in high school and started coaching cheer while a senior there. She did not understand why I didn't start coaching football. While coaching football is not a bad fit for me, at the time I was 19. I did not have a teaching degree or a substitute teaching credential or anything close to that. But she didn't understand why I couldn't have helped coach while I was still in high school. I tried to explain that coaching high school football was not the same as coaching high school cheerleading, but she didn't get it. I have nothing against cheer or cheer coaches (my sister was a cheerleader and I have a track record of dating cheerleaders), but football is close to a 24-7 job, and it is a job highly sought after. Coaches generally are also employed at the schools they lead. Some are teachers, but others work in security or janitorial work. But either way, schools aren't looking for 19-year-olds, let alone a senior at that school.
This girlfriend and I worked together at the time we dated. This job had quite a bit of downtime between actual work time, so all of the employees congregated together during breaks. Someone (I don't know who) had a little book that came up with scenarios that prodded philosophical answers. I thought it was really cool, and this girlfriend bought it for me as a gift. Nice gesture, but it was the downfall of our relationship.
This girlfriend and I tended to differ on our answers, which is not a bad thing. Amy and I are quite different and sometimes look at things in polar opposite directions. But Amy and I also have quite a bit in common. This girlfriend, though, would take my differing view as some sort of insult to her opinion.
The final straw that eventually led to our breakup was a question from the book and how I apparently am I cruel and heartless bastard.
The book scenario was something along the lines of: You are late for work and while leaving your front door, you see a bird with a broken wing in your lawn. What do you do?
I said I would go to work and possibly call animal control once I get to the office (assuming I had an office at this mysterious mythical job). She was appalled. Pretty sure she said she could not be with someone who would be so mean to the poor defenseless bird. She would get a shoe box, line it with a silk pillow and gently nurse the bird back to health. She did not add, but it was implied, that CPR would be administered whether or not it was needed.
I tried to defend my stance by slipping in the caveat that if I was not running late to work, or if it was a weekend (because this mysterious mythical job was obviously a 9 to 5, Monday thru Friday gig) I would do whatever I could for the grounded bird.
Didn't matter.
I tried to reason that I was no veterinarian, and me trying to heal the bird would likely cause irreversible damage.
Didn't matter.
I tried to argue that the bird could very well pass on some unknown disease to me (this was at least a decade before the bird flu invaded our vernacular).
Didn't matter.
The only answer was to drop everything and care for the bird.
Apparently I was a monster for failing to understand that.
We didn't stay together much longer after this disagreement.
I bring this up because I hope Reese A) does not see me as a monster, and B) respects people who disagree with her.
Let me explain...
First, she was a cheer coach at her old high school. She was a cheerleader in high school and started coaching cheer while a senior there. She did not understand why I didn't start coaching football. While coaching football is not a bad fit for me, at the time I was 19. I did not have a teaching degree or a substitute teaching credential or anything close to that. But she didn't understand why I couldn't have helped coach while I was still in high school. I tried to explain that coaching high school football was not the same as coaching high school cheerleading, but she didn't get it. I have nothing against cheer or cheer coaches (my sister was a cheerleader and I have a track record of dating cheerleaders), but football is close to a 24-7 job, and it is a job highly sought after. Coaches generally are also employed at the schools they lead. Some are teachers, but others work in security or janitorial work. But either way, schools aren't looking for 19-year-olds, let alone a senior at that school.
This girlfriend and I worked together at the time we dated. This job had quite a bit of downtime between actual work time, so all of the employees congregated together during breaks. Someone (I don't know who) had a little book that came up with scenarios that prodded philosophical answers. I thought it was really cool, and this girlfriend bought it for me as a gift. Nice gesture, but it was the downfall of our relationship.
This girlfriend and I tended to differ on our answers, which is not a bad thing. Amy and I are quite different and sometimes look at things in polar opposite directions. But Amy and I also have quite a bit in common. This girlfriend, though, would take my differing view as some sort of insult to her opinion.
The final straw that eventually led to our breakup was a question from the book and how I apparently am I cruel and heartless bastard.
The book scenario was something along the lines of: You are late for work and while leaving your front door, you see a bird with a broken wing in your lawn. What do you do?
I said I would go to work and possibly call animal control once I get to the office (assuming I had an office at this mysterious mythical job). She was appalled. Pretty sure she said she could not be with someone who would be so mean to the poor defenseless bird. She would get a shoe box, line it with a silk pillow and gently nurse the bird back to health. She did not add, but it was implied, that CPR would be administered whether or not it was needed.
I tried to defend my stance by slipping in the caveat that if I was not running late to work, or if it was a weekend (because this mysterious mythical job was obviously a 9 to 5, Monday thru Friday gig) I would do whatever I could for the grounded bird.
Didn't matter.
I tried to reason that I was no veterinarian, and me trying to heal the bird would likely cause irreversible damage.
Didn't matter.
I tried to argue that the bird could very well pass on some unknown disease to me (this was at least a decade before the bird flu invaded our vernacular).
Didn't matter.
The only answer was to drop everything and care for the bird.
Apparently I was a monster for failing to understand that.
We didn't stay together much longer after this disagreement.
I bring this up because I hope Reese A) does not see me as a monster, and B) respects people who disagree with her.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Going for the bronze
Wednesday's thrilling conclusion to the baseball regular season was pure heart break for members of the Red Sox Nation, of which my family and I belong.
But I am relatively new to the fan club, having only started cheering for Boston once Nome Garciaparra joined them at the end of the 1996 season. My wife and in-laws, however, have suffered their whole lives as Massachusetts natives. The 1986 ball-gets-past-Buckner World Series is merely a highlight for me. But every time it is replayed, it is lemon juice on a paper cut for my wife and in-laws.
The chronicle of pain associated with Red Sox fans is well documented, but the 2004 and 2007 World Series titles erased memories of misery. Those titles breathed happiness (and some would say conceit) into long-suffering fans.
Wednesday's loss (actually, the last month of futility) was a brutal reminder to Red Sox fans what life was like before Theo Epstein arrived as general manager after the 2002 season.
If we were to push Reese to join the Red Sox Nation, some would argue that is grounds for Protective Services to investigate child abuse. I mean, it does mean we are exposing her to a lifetime of heartbreak.
The alternative is for her to be a San Diego Padre fan. The biggest thrill for Padre fans is seeing former players find success with other teams (Ozzie Smith, Benito Santiago, Roberto Alomar, Fred McGriff, Joe Carter, etc.).
Padre fans know the season is basically over by June. Red Sox fans wait until September.
Padre fans are happy to finish above .500. Red Sox fans aren't happy unless they are in the World Series.
Padre fans are fine with five playoff berths in 43 years of existence. Red Sox fans are disappointed with six World Series crowns (seven if you count the 1903 Boston Americans title).
I had a professor in college who said the happiest person on the Olympic medal stand is the bronze medal winner. The gold medalist was always confident in victory, and possibly wished for an even better performance. The silver medalist is disappointed he/she did not get the gold, sometimes missing out on the top spot by fractions of a second. But the bronze winner is elated to have won anything at all!
In this analogy, Red Sox fans are perpetually the silver medalist - always looking at what they don't have, upset at the success of others. Padre fans, however, are bronze medalists - elated with any type of victory, no matter how small.
While Fenway Park is amazing, and seeing Red Sox fans everywhere is comforting, I would rather Reese appreciate any and all success then grumble about what she does have and pine away at what could have been.
But I am relatively new to the fan club, having only started cheering for Boston once Nome Garciaparra joined them at the end of the 1996 season. My wife and in-laws, however, have suffered their whole lives as Massachusetts natives. The 1986 ball-gets-past-Buckner World Series is merely a highlight for me. But every time it is replayed, it is lemon juice on a paper cut for my wife and in-laws.
The chronicle of pain associated with Red Sox fans is well documented, but the 2004 and 2007 World Series titles erased memories of misery. Those titles breathed happiness (and some would say conceit) into long-suffering fans.
Wednesday's loss (actually, the last month of futility) was a brutal reminder to Red Sox fans what life was like before Theo Epstein arrived as general manager after the 2002 season.
If we were to push Reese to join the Red Sox Nation, some would argue that is grounds for Protective Services to investigate child abuse. I mean, it does mean we are exposing her to a lifetime of heartbreak.
The alternative is for her to be a San Diego Padre fan. The biggest thrill for Padre fans is seeing former players find success with other teams (Ozzie Smith, Benito Santiago, Roberto Alomar, Fred McGriff, Joe Carter, etc.).
Padre fans know the season is basically over by June. Red Sox fans wait until September.
Padre fans are happy to finish above .500. Red Sox fans aren't happy unless they are in the World Series.
Padre fans are fine with five playoff berths in 43 years of existence. Red Sox fans are disappointed with six World Series crowns (seven if you count the 1903 Boston Americans title).
I had a professor in college who said the happiest person on the Olympic medal stand is the bronze medal winner. The gold medalist was always confident in victory, and possibly wished for an even better performance. The silver medalist is disappointed he/she did not get the gold, sometimes missing out on the top spot by fractions of a second. But the bronze winner is elated to have won anything at all!
In this analogy, Red Sox fans are perpetually the silver medalist - always looking at what they don't have, upset at the success of others. Padre fans, however, are bronze medalists - elated with any type of victory, no matter how small.
While Fenway Park is amazing, and seeing Red Sox fans everywhere is comforting, I would rather Reese appreciate any and all success then grumble about what she does have and pine away at what could have been.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Impressing strangers
Yeah, I know. It's been awhile since I've written a post about Reese, life, religion, something NOT football. I get a little excited when football season starts.
Reese is growing up quickly, it seems. Every day is another eye-opening achievement. Yesterday she said, "I love you" more clearly than she has ever said it before. She repeated it this morning to Amy as she went to work and again to Grandpa over the phone. There was no need to try to decipher what she said. It was clearly, "I love you."
She is able to jump, getting both feet off of the ground. And she sometimes lands on both feet when she comes down. Sometimes. She really enjoys jumping up, stretching her legs out in front of her while in the air, then landing on her rear and thighs and legs. She thinks it's fantastic. I must confess that I think it's pretty awesome as well.
Reese loves to climb. The other day Amy found her halfway up the back door, holding herself up by the door handles. She pushed her high chair to the kitchen island, climbed into the high chair, stood on the high chair and grabbed a pen from the middle of the kitchen island. obviously reprimanded her for putting herself in such a dangerous situation, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't impressed. It was some nice engineering for a toddler.
I am getting a little worried Reese is becoming addicted to my iPhone. I truly think she may be on it more than I am. OK, well that's not true, but she does play with it often. She knows how to unlock the phone to turn it on. She knows how to scroll to different pages. She knows where the games are she can play. She knows how to open the games and knows how to play the games. I wonder if some social scientist somewhere has given a chimpanzee an iPad filled with ape-friendly games and study how quickly the animal understands how to use the tablet. Am I saying Reese is smarter than a chimp? I'm saying she's smarter than most humans!
But Reese is still as cute as ever. I am convinced she is the highlight of other people's days (she is obviously the highlight of my day!). Last weekend, Amy, Reese and I went out to diner in Portland. After dinner we walked about five or six blocks to grab dessert. It was the last nice night Portland was likely to see until possibly Easter, so there were quite a few patrons eating outside while our little family strolled the sidewalk. You could see dates stop their conversation, look at us, smile and then nod to each other. When we walked back after dessert, most of the same people were still outside soaking up as much Vitamin D while it was available for free. Again, they would stop and look and smile. One lady stopped us to repeatedly tell us how cute she thought Reese was. While it got a little creepy, she was sincere. I could envision her the next day on the phone with a friend of family member saying, "Yeah, John and I went out to dinner last night. The food was good and it was great weather, but you should have seen this little girl walking past us! Oh, you would just die! She was the cutest thing I have EVER seen! Oh my goodness, she was just soo adorable!" It's nice to know Reese is making good first impressions on strangers.
Reese is growing up quickly, it seems. Every day is another eye-opening achievement. Yesterday she said, "I love you" more clearly than she has ever said it before. She repeated it this morning to Amy as she went to work and again to Grandpa over the phone. There was no need to try to decipher what she said. It was clearly, "I love you."
She is able to jump, getting both feet off of the ground. And she sometimes lands on both feet when she comes down. Sometimes. She really enjoys jumping up, stretching her legs out in front of her while in the air, then landing on her rear and thighs and legs. She thinks it's fantastic. I must confess that I think it's pretty awesome as well.
Reese loves to climb. The other day Amy found her halfway up the back door, holding herself up by the door handles. She pushed her high chair to the kitchen island, climbed into the high chair, stood on the high chair and grabbed a pen from the middle of the kitchen island. obviously reprimanded her for putting herself in such a dangerous situation, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't impressed. It was some nice engineering for a toddler.
I am getting a little worried Reese is becoming addicted to my iPhone. I truly think she may be on it more than I am. OK, well that's not true, but she does play with it often. She knows how to unlock the phone to turn it on. She knows how to scroll to different pages. She knows where the games are she can play. She knows how to open the games and knows how to play the games. I wonder if some social scientist somewhere has given a chimpanzee an iPad filled with ape-friendly games and study how quickly the animal understands how to use the tablet. Am I saying Reese is smarter than a chimp? I'm saying she's smarter than most humans!
But Reese is still as cute as ever. I am convinced she is the highlight of other people's days (she is obviously the highlight of my day!). Last weekend, Amy, Reese and I went out to diner in Portland. After dinner we walked about five or six blocks to grab dessert. It was the last nice night Portland was likely to see until possibly Easter, so there were quite a few patrons eating outside while our little family strolled the sidewalk. You could see dates stop their conversation, look at us, smile and then nod to each other. When we walked back after dessert, most of the same people were still outside soaking up as much Vitamin D while it was available for free. Again, they would stop and look and smile. One lady stopped us to repeatedly tell us how cute she thought Reese was. While it got a little creepy, she was sincere. I could envision her the next day on the phone with a friend of family member saying, "Yeah, John and I went out to dinner last night. The food was good and it was great weather, but you should have seen this little girl walking past us! Oh, you would just die! She was the cutest thing I have EVER seen! Oh my goodness, she was just soo adorable!" It's nice to know Reese is making good first impressions on strangers.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Predictable results, new game
Last Week: 3-0
Season: 6-3
PREDICTION: LSU -3.5 over Miss. St. RESULT: LSU 19 Miss St 6
This was a close game, but a 10-point fourth quarter by the Tigers put the game away.
PREDICTION: E. Mich + 28.5 against Mich. RESULT: E. Mich 3 Mich 31
Thankfully the Wolverines final drive stalled and Michigan kicked a field goal, or else this would have been a loss. Also, thank goodness for those half-points!
PREDICTION: Chargers/Patriots over 53 RESULT: SD 21 NE 35
San Diego had three consecutive first-half-drives into the 30-yard-line, but came away with zero points. It looked like New England would be able to just sit on the ball and force the under. But Philip Rivers and the Bolts got their act together in the second half (14 fourth-quarter-points) to push the point total to 56.
Since I am a little late in making predictions, that means no college games on the docket for me. Oh well. I'm OK with nothing but NFL, are you? Plus, I will introduce a new game at the end of this entry that everyone can participate in. Should be fun.
CAROLINA -3.5 over Jacksonville
Cam Newton has been the surprise of the season so far. He has more passing yards (854) than Philip Rivers (713) and Drew Brees (689). Only Tom Brady (940) has more passing yards than the rookie from Auburn. But Newton and the Panthers have zero wins to show for all of those yards. So why will Carolina finally win a game? Because the Jaguars are on the road and Blaine Gabbert is making his first NFL start. While Gabbert could have a Newton-esque performance in his first full game (Newton threw for 422 yards with 2 TDs in Week 1 against Arizona, a game the Panthers had a chance to win that game in the final seconds), the Panthers have better supporting cast surrounding Newton than Gabbert has around him.
NEW ENGLAND -10.5 at Buffalo
The Patriots have a chance to go 3-0. Yawn. The Bills have a chance to go 3-0. Whaaa....!?!?!? But before Chris Berman does his "Nobody circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills," realize the Patriots are for real. Or, as my niece would say, for real for reals. The Bills? They beat an abysmal Kansas City squad and squeaked out a last second victory over an average Oakland team. The Patriots are the Patriots. Buffalo and Ryan "They Call Me Fitz" Fitzpatrick are a great feel-good story, but Tom Terrific is leading a team that honestly has a chance to go 16-0. Again.
CINCINNATI pick 'em over San Francisco
Cam Newton is the headlining surprise rookie of 2011, but Cincinnati's Andy Dalton has more passing yards and TDs (413, 3) than the 49ers Alex Smith (303, 2). San Francisco played hard against Dallas, but 13 unanswered points by the Cowboys sealed the deal. It's not as if the Bengals were brilliant in their loss against Denver last week, but I think you go with the team who fell short of a comeback as opposed to the team who allowed a comeback. Especially if the come-from-behind team is playing at home.
And Now For Something Completely Different
My dream job, as long as I can remember was to be a sports broadcaster (actually, I think the first job I wanted as a kid was to be a zoologist, but then I realized I had to take a LOT of science classes and decided against it). Growing up in the Los Angeles television market meant I had the privilege of listening to and watching some of the best of all time (Chick Hearn with the Lakers; Vin Scully with the Dodgers; Bob Miller with the Kings). I also read LA Times legend Jim Murray, so there is no surprise I went into sports journalism.
As a sports fan in general, and someone who wanted to be a sportscaster, I watch and listen to what the announcers say. There are some I really enjoy (Charles Davis and Gus Johnson pop to mind right away), but a lot of the time I cringe with the cliches and the obvious observations.
For the two nationally televised NFL games (Sunday and Monday nights), I will post a list of phrases and cliches to listen for; some are always on the docket, others are game-to-game decisions. You can do whatever you would like when you hear/see the cliches/phrases, but I suggest a drink of whatever beverage you are enjoying (the New England Patriots public relations department would insist I am talking about drinking water).
STEELERS AT COLTS
Drink for any mention of:
*Steel Curtain
*former Pittsburgh players of the 1970s
*Bill Cowher
*Johnny Unitis
*Andrew Luck
*"Big Ben"
*video of Roethlesberger's stiff arm against Terrell Suggs
REDSKINS AT COWBOYS
*any mention of Rex Grossman as a Super Bowl starting quarterback
*comparing Tony Romo to Bret Favre
*Drew Bledsoe and Tom Brady
*Wally Pipp and Lou Gehrig
*Announcers are in awe of Dallas stadium, specifically the JumboTron
BOTH GAMES
*every time an announcer says a team/player is the best at something, or one of the best at something ( i.e. "Nobody throws a prettier swing pass to the running back than Romo.")
*saying "National Football League" instead of NFL
*"This is a must-win game."
*"They really need to score on this drive."
*Announcer says the wrong player/wrong number but you know the correct player/number
*Total flub on telestrator (i.e. circles the left defensive end, when it was the outside linebacker stunting inside to make the tackle)
*A key to the game that is the key to game for every team that has every played football from Pop Warner to the Pros (establish the running game, contain the star player on the other team, put up points)
Please drink responsibly, do not drink and drive, and please tip your servers.
Season: 6-3
PREDICTION: LSU -3.5 over Miss. St. RESULT: LSU 19 Miss St 6
This was a close game, but a 10-point fourth quarter by the Tigers put the game away.
PREDICTION: E. Mich + 28.5 against Mich. RESULT: E. Mich 3 Mich 31
Thankfully the Wolverines final drive stalled and Michigan kicked a field goal, or else this would have been a loss. Also, thank goodness for those half-points!
PREDICTION: Chargers/Patriots over 53 RESULT: SD 21 NE 35
San Diego had three consecutive first-half-drives into the 30-yard-line, but came away with zero points. It looked like New England would be able to just sit on the ball and force the under. But Philip Rivers and the Bolts got their act together in the second half (14 fourth-quarter-points) to push the point total to 56.
Since I am a little late in making predictions, that means no college games on the docket for me. Oh well. I'm OK with nothing but NFL, are you? Plus, I will introduce a new game at the end of this entry that everyone can participate in. Should be fun.
CAROLINA -3.5 over Jacksonville
Cam Newton has been the surprise of the season so far. He has more passing yards (854) than Philip Rivers (713) and Drew Brees (689). Only Tom Brady (940) has more passing yards than the rookie from Auburn. But Newton and the Panthers have zero wins to show for all of those yards. So why will Carolina finally win a game? Because the Jaguars are on the road and Blaine Gabbert is making his first NFL start. While Gabbert could have a Newton-esque performance in his first full game (Newton threw for 422 yards with 2 TDs in Week 1 against Arizona, a game the Panthers had a chance to win that game in the final seconds), the Panthers have better supporting cast surrounding Newton than Gabbert has around him.
NEW ENGLAND -10.5 at Buffalo
The Patriots have a chance to go 3-0. Yawn. The Bills have a chance to go 3-0. Whaaa....!?!?!? But before Chris Berman does his "Nobody circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills," realize the Patriots are for real. Or, as my niece would say, for real for reals. The Bills? They beat an abysmal Kansas City squad and squeaked out a last second victory over an average Oakland team. The Patriots are the Patriots. Buffalo and Ryan "They Call Me Fitz" Fitzpatrick are a great feel-good story, but Tom Terrific is leading a team that honestly has a chance to go 16-0. Again.
CINCINNATI pick 'em over San Francisco
Cam Newton is the headlining surprise rookie of 2011, but Cincinnati's Andy Dalton has more passing yards and TDs (413, 3) than the 49ers Alex Smith (303, 2). San Francisco played hard against Dallas, but 13 unanswered points by the Cowboys sealed the deal. It's not as if the Bengals were brilliant in their loss against Denver last week, but I think you go with the team who fell short of a comeback as opposed to the team who allowed a comeback. Especially if the come-from-behind team is playing at home.
And Now For Something Completely Different
My dream job, as long as I can remember was to be a sports broadcaster (actually, I think the first job I wanted as a kid was to be a zoologist, but then I realized I had to take a LOT of science classes and decided against it). Growing up in the Los Angeles television market meant I had the privilege of listening to and watching some of the best of all time (Chick Hearn with the Lakers; Vin Scully with the Dodgers; Bob Miller with the Kings). I also read LA Times legend Jim Murray, so there is no surprise I went into sports journalism.
As a sports fan in general, and someone who wanted to be a sportscaster, I watch and listen to what the announcers say. There are some I really enjoy (Charles Davis and Gus Johnson pop to mind right away), but a lot of the time I cringe with the cliches and the obvious observations.
For the two nationally televised NFL games (Sunday and Monday nights), I will post a list of phrases and cliches to listen for; some are always on the docket, others are game-to-game decisions. You can do whatever you would like when you hear/see the cliches/phrases, but I suggest a drink of whatever beverage you are enjoying (the New England Patriots public relations department would insist I am talking about drinking water).
STEELERS AT COLTS
Drink for any mention of:
*Steel Curtain
*former Pittsburgh players of the 1970s
*Bill Cowher
*Johnny Unitis
*Andrew Luck
*"Big Ben"
*video of Roethlesberger's stiff arm against Terrell Suggs
REDSKINS AT COWBOYS
*any mention of Rex Grossman as a Super Bowl starting quarterback
*comparing Tony Romo to Bret Favre
*Drew Bledsoe and Tom Brady
*Wally Pipp and Lou Gehrig
*Announcers are in awe of Dallas stadium, specifically the JumboTron
BOTH GAMES
*every time an announcer says a team/player is the best at something, or one of the best at something ( i.e. "Nobody throws a prettier swing pass to the running back than Romo.")
*saying "National Football League" instead of NFL
*"This is a must-win game."
*"They really need to score on this drive."
*Announcer says the wrong player/wrong number but you know the correct player/number
*Total flub on telestrator (i.e. circles the left defensive end, when it was the outside linebacker stunting inside to make the tackle)
*A key to the game that is the key to game for every team that has every played football from Pop Warner to the Pros (establish the running game, contain the star player on the other team, put up points)
Please drink responsibly, do not drink and drive, and please tip your servers.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Punk Rock dad
There are a lot of fears a father feels: am I a positive influence; do I let my daughter watch too much TV; does my daughter eat enough vegetables?
But I have been feeling a little guilty about something recently.
Reese likes listening to punk rock music.
When we get in the car and I pop in a CD, chances are it's NoFX, Pennywise, Dropkick Murphys or some other kickass group I like to shout along with and/or car dance to. And I can peek in the rear view mirror and see Reese is enjoying it as well.
Punk rock music has made a big impression on me, but it didn't really enter my music rotation until high school and then really took over in college. Punk rock has an overriding message of: Question authority, do it yourself!
While that is a perfectly reasonable and expected attitude for teenagers and/or young adults standing on their own two feet for the first time (figuratively), it is problematic for a toddler learning to stand on their own two feet (literally).
I want Reese to be an individual and believe in herself and question authority, but not now. Not when I am her authority. She should wait at least until preschool. Don't rebel when you still need someone to change your diapers. It could get messy (figuratively AND literally).
There is nothing inherently bad or wrong with Reese bopping around to beats and guitar riffs by Social Distortion or Bouncing Souls or the Vandals, but she may be a little too young to subscribe to the ideas in the lyrics. Do I really want Reese to point at someone in the grocery store and ask, "Daddy, does he have an Ape Drape?" Um...yeah, I guess I'd be OK with that one, but there other questions I probably would not want.
Reese does pick up and understand everything Amy and I say (if it isn't everything, it sure is the majority of what we say). But can she hear and understand what Fat Mike or Mike Ness or Tim Armstrong belt out? Sometimes I need to look up the lyrics to understand them.
It won't be too long until Reese looks at Rancid, Voodoo Glow Skulls and Bad Religion like I look at Elvis, the Rolling Stones and the Who - bands who once considered controversial but I now view as tame.
But no matter what type of music Reese listens to (or shows she watches or friends she hangs out with), she needs to know and understand that I am her parent, an authority she is not allowed to defy.
At least until she's old enough to change her own diapers.
But I have been feeling a little guilty about something recently.
Reese likes listening to punk rock music.
When we get in the car and I pop in a CD, chances are it's NoFX, Pennywise, Dropkick Murphys or some other kickass group I like to shout along with and/or car dance to. And I can peek in the rear view mirror and see Reese is enjoying it as well.
Punk rock music has made a big impression on me, but it didn't really enter my music rotation until high school and then really took over in college. Punk rock has an overriding message of: Question authority, do it yourself!
While that is a perfectly reasonable and expected attitude for teenagers and/or young adults standing on their own two feet for the first time (figuratively), it is problematic for a toddler learning to stand on their own two feet (literally).
I want Reese to be an individual and believe in herself and question authority, but not now. Not when I am her authority. She should wait at least until preschool. Don't rebel when you still need someone to change your diapers. It could get messy (figuratively AND literally).
There is nothing inherently bad or wrong with Reese bopping around to beats and guitar riffs by Social Distortion or Bouncing Souls or the Vandals, but she may be a little too young to subscribe to the ideas in the lyrics. Do I really want Reese to point at someone in the grocery store and ask, "Daddy, does he have an Ape Drape?" Um...yeah, I guess I'd be OK with that one, but there other questions I probably would not want.
Reese does pick up and understand everything Amy and I say (if it isn't everything, it sure is the majority of what we say). But can she hear and understand what Fat Mike or Mike Ness or Tim Armstrong belt out? Sometimes I need to look up the lyrics to understand them.
It won't be too long until Reese looks at Rancid, Voodoo Glow Skulls and Bad Religion like I look at Elvis, the Rolling Stones and the Who - bands who once considered controversial but I now view as tame.
But no matter what type of music Reese listens to (or shows she watches or friends she hangs out with), she needs to know and understand that I am her parent, an authority she is not allowed to defy.
At least until she's old enough to change her own diapers.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Quick betting update
I will be brief in my summation of my NFL predictions: it's a good thing I'm not a betting man.
That was both brutal and humiliating.
Buffalo destroyed Kansas City, and while Jamaal Charles had an OK day (in one of my Fantasy Football leagues he had 14 points and 12.5 in the other) he scored about half of what the best FF RB netted (San Diego's Mike Tolbert, 35 and 31).
Atlanta made it look like the 1985 Bears were on the field for Chicago. My most disliked athlete of all time actually matched the Falcons' Matt Ryan throw for throw and yard for yard, which was more unbelievable to me than the actual scoreboard. I guess there was a reason Chicago made it to the NFC Championship game last season, huh?
My only correct prediction was the Cardinals beating the Panthers, but even that had a good chance of falling short as Cam Newton showed he does, in fact, have plenty of steak to go with that sizzle.
As for this week's games...
LSU by 3.5 over Miss St
I think the Tigers are national title contenders and will dominate this game.
Eastern Michigan plus 28.5 against Michigan
That Notre Dame contest was pretty exciting, but I don't have faith in the Wolverines to blow anyone out by 4 TDs.
Chargers and Patriots score more than 53 points combined
Philip Rivers and Tom Brady will put on an aerial show to rival Fleet Week in San Francisco. This should be a fun game to watch!
That was both brutal and humiliating.
Buffalo destroyed Kansas City, and while Jamaal Charles had an OK day (in one of my Fantasy Football leagues he had 14 points and 12.5 in the other) he scored about half of what the best FF RB netted (San Diego's Mike Tolbert, 35 and 31).
Atlanta made it look like the 1985 Bears were on the field for Chicago. My most disliked athlete of all time actually matched the Falcons' Matt Ryan throw for throw and yard for yard, which was more unbelievable to me than the actual scoreboard. I guess there was a reason Chicago made it to the NFC Championship game last season, huh?
My only correct prediction was the Cardinals beating the Panthers, but even that had a good chance of falling short as Cam Newton showed he does, in fact, have plenty of steak to go with that sizzle.
As for this week's games...
LSU by 3.5 over Miss St
I think the Tigers are national title contenders and will dominate this game.
Eastern Michigan plus 28.5 against Michigan
That Notre Dame contest was pretty exciting, but I don't have faith in the Wolverines to blow anyone out by 4 TDs.
Chargers and Patriots score more than 53 points combined
Philip Rivers and Tom Brady will put on an aerial show to rival Fleet Week in San Francisco. This should be a fun game to watch!
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