Big Trouble

I know I have mentioned major steps in Reese's development before (Game Changer), but this is a little different. This is more of a realization that I have my hands full, or at least will have my hands full (VERY full) in the near future.

The other day I was in the kitchen standing next to the refrigerator and Ripken was lying next to my feet. Reese was watching Yo Gabba Gabba or Sesame Street or some other show. Or at least she was watching the show initially, because I noticed she had started to walk into the kitchen and right toward Ripken. As I watched her, Ripken noticed her, too, and he would look at her, then look at me. Reese only stared at Ripken and, in the awkward toddler way of walking, tried to creep quietly and secretly toward the dog. Ripken had his eyes on her, though, and then would look to me as if to say, "What is she planning on doing to me? Please save me!" It was actually quite amusing to see a 2-year-old attempt to sneak up on a dog that is looking straight at her.

When she got just in front of me and about an arm's length away from Ripken, Reese suddenly turned to me and said, "Boo!"

I was surprised. Not surprised insomuch that I jumped or was startled. But I was surprised because not once did she give any sort of indication she paid any attention to me.

I am no child psychologist and I have never taken any early childhood development courses, but it seems to me the behaviour she exhibited shows an incredible amount of intelligence. She tried to trick me. She tried to make me think she was after the dog. She tried to manipulate my train of thought. And she did more than try. She succeeded!

Last night at dinner Reese started playing with her food. Amy was scolding her, but Reese kept on playing with her food. Amy took away her food and tried to make sure Reese understood playing with food was not acceptable behaviour at the dinner table. Reese kind of slumped her shoulders as most people do when getting into trouble, but she quickly sat up, opened her eyes wide, pointed to the center piece and exclaimed, "Flowers!"

Now it is entirely possible Reese was suddenly happy to see flowers in the middle of the table, even though they were there all day (two days, actually). But it sure did seem to me (and Amy) Reese was trying to distract mom from discipline her. Reese was using the distraction trick we had been using on her! (Lessons I've Learned So Far)

Again, this sort of behavior shows (at least to me) an advanced way of thinking (at least for a 2-year-old). For her to use distraction, it shows she thinks she can get into the way Amy and I are thinking. She thinks flowers are so exciting to us, we will forget at her playing with food. Trying to guess other people's emotions is called empathy, and it is something some adults have trouble with. But here is a toddler attempting to gauge our emotional response to flowers.

Amy and I are in big trouble, because if 2-year-old Reese is already successfully manipulating my reactions and unsuccessfully distracting us from her getting into trouble, what can we expect when she is a teenager?

I shudder at the thought.

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Greatest achievement

I am a fan of trivia. I get it from my dad. We sometimes call my dad Cliffy Clavin, a reference to the know-it-all postman from the '80s sitcom "Cheers."

I get a trivia question e-mailed to me every morning. Sometimes they are easy, sometimes hard, and they cover all types of categories. The one yesterday was fairly easy - Which president bought the Louisiana Purchase - and the answer page had a sentence or two about the question. The answer page yesterday said the Louisiana Purchase was Thomas Jefferson's greatest achievement as president. It's hard to argue that statement considering it more than doubled the size of the USA for about $15 million and something close to 10 cents an acre.

I asked my dad, who was a history teacher besides being a trivia buff, what he thought the greatest achievement of the United States was. He was stumped. He said he would think about it and get back to me with an answer.

There are many things America could hang it's hat on - The Constitution, Declaration of Independence, Civil War, Emancipation Proclamation, Panama Canal, Normandy Invasion, leading country and host of United Nations, etc. All of those are worthy achievements to be considered, even though the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution were technically achievements before we became a nation.

When Amy came home from work, I posed the question to her. She waited just second and then asked me, "What is your greatest achievement?"

Right away I answered, "Marrying you and having Reese."

And it's true. Those are the things I am most proud of in my life.

There are other things I am also quite proud of, too, like becoming a professional journalist at 19 years old; getting a job (StreetZebra) without any type of connection or networking; being out of football for 17 years and then not only making the Portland Raiders, but starting at center, getting invited to the All Star game and being named second-team all-league; and, of course, beating cancer. I told Amy that I am most proud of my attitude during the cancer episode, because I mostly laid back and let the doctors and nurses and needle and drugs beat cancer. She said I need to give myself more credit. I am, indeed, very proud of my attitude, but I do not think I could have had that attitude (or, at least, I do not think I could maintain that attitude) for the duration of my fight.

I flipped the question back to her.

"What is your greatest achievement?"

She said her husband and daughter.

She then went on to describe other things she is proud of, and I think the one that most impresses me is she packed up her entire life and moved from Washington D.C. to San Francisco when she was 24. Moving anywhere is quite an ordeal, but moving cross-country, where you know no one? That's got to be scary. But she did it, re-invented herself, and emerged a successful woman. I think that's greater than anything I've done.

And I'm pretty sure she drove the whole distance, too.

Which kind of ties into what my dad later said was the greatest achievement of the United States.

Transcontinental railroad.

Vampire, pirate or mermaid?

Amy had a work dinner last week and asked me an interesting question when she got home.

"Would you rather be a vampire, a pirate or a merman?"

Apparently it was a question someone threw out during the dinner.

As she works in the financial world, it was easy to predict the majority of her co-workers chose pirate. A pirate, at least in the romanticized views of Hollywood, leads a very exciting life of adventure. Who wouldn't want to chase after gold, drink rum until you can't see straight and socialize with women of ill repute? But pirate life was not what Captain Jack Sparrow (or even Treasure Island) portray it to be.

The fact is, being a pirate was a pretty nasty existence. You were poor. Like, real poor. You did bad things. Like, REAL bad things. (There are stories of pirates torturing governors of cities while his family looked on; and also torturing the family while the governor looked on.) But even if one decided to be a "good" pirate, you were still stealing from others. Maybe you could try to justify it by saying it is just like Robin Hood, but in a different location, but I could retort that it's just like the Taliban, but in a different location. And even if you were the only pirate on the boat who did not pillage and kill, your closest associates WOULD pillage and kill, making you an accessory to their crimes! (I guess if you did not pillage and kill, you could someday have a Gilbert and Sullivan play written about your life as a pirate king, but that would be a long shot.) So being a pirate generally meant you were going to be a bad person, or, at the very least, be associated with very bad people.

Being a vampire would be just as bad, probably worse, than being a pirate. Vampires are, literally, monsters. Piracy, on the other hand, is a merely profession, albeit a pretty nasty profession. Being a vampire may sound appealing (if you're a 14-year-old girl), but living forever really would be depressing. Sure, you could learn to play every single instrument in an orchestra, and learn every language in the world, and read the entire Library of Congress, but every single person you meet will die, even you are not the one to kill them. Not surprising, my wife and the only other female at that dinner chose vampire as their answers.

Me, I did not hesitate to say merman. Unlike the other two, being a merman or mermaid does not come with inherent evil issues (steal, torture, kill, drink blood, glitter in sunlight, etc.). A mer-creature is just another living being. You can choose to be good or bad. A mer-creature is not weighed down with the urge to drink blood, or sworn to burn down an entire seaport. As a merman, I could swim to a my mer-job, make my mer-money, and go home to my mer-family. What's not to like about that?